When we first got together, we see that we both had a "Hollywood" version of love and relationship. Meeting the right person and spending our lives together was the road to life-long happiness.
What we've seen since then is that finding the love we seek is not found in another person. In fact, it isn't found in anyone or anything outside of us. So, where do we look to find it? And what are the effects of finding love on our health?
Join us to hear more.
What we now see, that has deepened our relationship beyond what we imagined, is that the love we're looking for is within us. Always has been and always will be.
But how do we find that? It's easy to say that the love you're looking for is within you. But that is abstract and can be confusing as to how to go about "finding" that.
The work we do with our clients begins with understanding that our experience doesn't come from what's happening in our lives or who we're married to. Our experience comes from what we're thinking ABOUT what's happening and who we've married. Our experience comes from the inside-out, not outside-in. In other words, we're always experiencing our moment-to-moment thinking.
And that's really good news because that means the things and the people we're with don't need to change for us to find the love we're looking for. I simply need to stop looking for love in all the wrong places... which is everywhere, everything and everyone outside of me. The love I'm looking for is within me, so I will never find it if I'm looking for it in anything outside of me.
So, how do we apply this? What do we need to do?
Here's the thing, if we're looking for love and not experiencing it, and we know that we are always experiencing our thinking, it seems logical to change our thinking. But that's not it.
Rather than changing our thinking, it's about letting go of the thinking we're having (that's creating our experience) and letting our mind settle down. It isn't about re-framing the situation or changing our thinking in any way. Because when we let go of our current thinking, the mind settles down and what we're left with is simply ourselves, who we really are. The still, quiet voice within, the peace, the love and the joy that is our essential nature.
What this says is that we can never get love, we can only give love. And, in order to give love, we first feel the love we're going to give. So, there it is, right there inside of us when we let our thinking mind settle. Even before we give love, we have found love. And as we give love, the experience we're having is that of love. This is how and where we find love.
But don't believe us. If you look at this in your own life, is this true? Have you ever shared your love with someone and not been filled with love? Is this not the love you're looking for?
So, that's our take on love and where to find it. And since this blog is also about our health, let's look at the affect of love on our health.
Research is showing that people who experience love in close, supportive relationships tend to have better heart health, with lower blood pressure, lower resting heart rates, less inflammation and a lower risk of heart attacks and strokes. Don't you love that?
Also, when we feel love, we feel safe and connected, and our bodies produce oxytocin, which is sometimes called the "bonding hormone", the hormone that makes us feel connected to each other.
Studies have shown that oxytocin lowers cortisol (the primary stress hormone), meaning it promotes relaxation. And this relaxation helps blood vessels dilate and reduces anxiety.
It’s also been shown that people who feel the love of strong social connections generally catch fewer colds, recover more quickly from illness, and heal wounds faster.
The list goes on, but it points out that in many ways, love isn't just a pleasant emotion, (available to us in every moment and situation) it's one of the conditions under which our bodies and minds function at their best.
The recipe this week isn't actually a new recipe, but a combination of recipes we've shared with you, put together. We've had this several times in the last few weeks. And we like it so much and want to share it with you too. It's Baked Potatoes with Hummus and Kimchi.
Just bake your favourite potato, cut it open or slice it up, smother it with hummus and top it with kimchi. It's a fabulous combination of tastes and textures.
To your Amazing Health,
Connie and Bill
Baked Potato Hummus & Kimchi
- 1½ baked potatoes per serving
- ¾ - 1 cup hummus per serving (recipe below)
- ¼ cup kimchi per serving
Bake potatoes, cut open and fill or just cut into pieces and top with hummus and kimchi.
To stay salt free, I rinse the Kimchi in water and press dry before adding as garnish.
We love the Wild Brine brand of kimchi.
Hummus
- 28 ounce can of chickpeas, drained well
- 3 large roasted red peppers packed in water (we love the Dalla Terra brand)
- 2 lemons, juice into a bowl
- 1 medium garlic clove peeled, cut in pieces and add to lemon
- 2 heaping tablespoons tahini
- 2 tablespoons No Salt Seasoning
- 2 teaspoons ground cumin
- 1 teaspoon ground coriander
- ¼ teaspoon fresh ground pepper
- ¼ teaspoon Mrs. Dash Extra Spicy or red pepper flakes
Add all ingredients to a food processor and blend until smooth.