Last week we talked about the Inside-Out Nature of Life. This week we wanted to expand on how we've found our need to try to control things in our lives has changed since adopting an Inside-Out perspective.
Join us to hear more.
Connie and I have been very fortunate and been very successful in our endeavours. And for years we believed that it was our ability to control things and "make things happen" that led to that success.
As we look back on it now, we see how our efforts to control things actually contributed to the frustrations that arose along the way rather than contributing to their success.
But it's natural to try to control things when we believe our experience is created by what's happening in our lives, i.e. life works outside-in. If it's true that my reactions are caused by what's happening, then if getting cutoff in traffic makes me mad, to avoid getting mad, I need to avoid getting cutoff.
I tried that for years, but I still got cutoff and ended up with the same reaction. I could never control whether I was cutoff or not, which always had me on guard, trying to avoid it happening.
With the shift to an Inside-Out way of viewing life, it's quite clear that trying to manage my circumstances in order to find peace and happiness is an endless struggle. That's because it's trying to manage something that can't be managed.
It's very clear now that I can't manage life. But I can manage how I respond to it. Understanding that my experience comes from the meaning I'm giving to what's happening and not what's happening itself, I no longer look for how to control or change it. Rather I look for the meaning I'm giving to it that always reveals why I'm having the reaction I'm having.
As I see that my reaction is created by how I'm thinking about it and not the event itself, I become more calm with a broader perspective, and from there am much more effective at dealing with the situation.
This fundamental shift in our perception of how life works has created such a sense of freedom and ease. No longer are we "on guard" for what might happen. Instead, we're open and welcoming of life showing up, just the way it is, and responding from the calm centre that the Inside-Out perspective provides.
Some people have told us they're afraid that if they didn't try to control things, their ambition and desire to achieve goals would disappear. But that hasn't been our experience.
From and Inside-Out approach, we feel drawn into life and to participate fully. There's a renewed freshness in doing things and achieving goals where it feels more like dancing with life than struggling to manage it. As a result, we find ourselves in the flow of life more, and actually get more done with less effort than before.
Test this for yourself. When you feel you need to control something, see if you can open and "dance" with it, rather than control it. See how you feel when you do that and what the outcome is like. Share it with us in the comments section. We'd love to hear from you.
The recipe this week is for Caribbean Rice, a wonderful combination of wild rice, beans, chilies and veg. Give it a try, it's delicious.
To your Amazing Health,
Connie and Bill
Caribbean Rice (Serves 4) Adapted from Jane McDougall
- 1½ cups wild rice blend
- 4 cups vegetable broth
- 1 onion, diced
- 1-2 garlic cloves, minced
- 1 (4 ounce) can chopped green chilies
- 3 cups squash, peeled and cut into 1-inch cubes
- 2 teaspoons curry powder
- 1 teaspoon ground coriander
- ½ teaspoon ground cumin powder
- ground black pepper to taste
- 1 (15 ounce) can, or 2 cups cooked kidney beans
- 1 bunch Swiss chard, torn in pieces and tender part of stems diced
- 1 bunch green onions or 1 red pepper, diced
Add wild rice to a pan with 3 cups of the broth, bring to a boil, then turn down to simmer and cook for 45 minutes, until grains begin to split.
Add remaining cup of broth to a large saucepan with onion, garlic and chilies. Cook, stirring occasionally, until onion softens, approximately 5 minutes.
Stir in squash and spices and cook until squash is tender, about 20 minutes.
Now add the beans, chard, scallions or red pepper and cooked rice. Cook until chard is tender, about 5 minutes.
Stir well and serve.