We've used the term "Inside-Out Nature of Life" numerous times in different blogs and the reason we keep bringing it up is because it has made such a huge difference in our lives. Today we thought we'd explain more about what we mean by that.
Join us to hear more.
When we're talking about the inside-out nature of life, we're talking about how our experience of life is created from within us and not from what occurs outside of us. It can look like life works outside-in when something happens and we have a reaction to it. It looks like that event created the reaction. I was calm and then got cutoff in traffic and suddenly was very upset. It looks like the event created my reaction, my experience.
This was a common experience of mine when I drove the LA freeways. But, if I'm really honest, there were times that getting cutoff didn't upset me. So, what does that say about the nature of our experience? The outside-in theory really doesn't hold water if I look closely at my life. But until we heard about this inside-out understanding, we kept connecting the dots as though our experience was created by what happened outside of us, and just overlooked the inconsistencies with the theory.
And there's plenty of support for believing that my circumstances created my experience. When I would get to work and tell someone about being cutoff, they'd be right there with a justification for my reaction. "Yeah, who wouldn't be upset by that?" And that's understandable because they were seeing life through that same outside-in lens, which then encouraged me to keep connecting the dots that way.
A classic moment for me in seeing that my experience is inside-out, was one day when we were cleaning the house and I was experiencing a lot of resistance. I mean, I was mad that I "had to" clean the house (which, of course, I didn't). And, for some reason, I had the thought, "What if there's another way of looking at this?" And I let go of my thinking about how I don't like to clean the house, and I'd rather be doing something else, and this is such a pain, etc.
In the moment that I opened and that thinking was no longer there, my experience took a 180º turn. I went from being angry and shutdown to being filled with energy and enthusiasm. And I took that energy and cleaned the house like never before... and with joy. It almost feels like a miracle when our experience changes that quickly and easily.
I hadn't heard of the inside-out understanding yet, but it put a crack in my thinking that my experience in life is created from what's happening outside of me. It was a clear demonstration of how my experience is created by my thinking, and in particular, the meaning that I'm giving to the thinking I have.
We've used the term, "We're always feeling our thinking" before, and the inside-out nature of life is how that works. Whatever meaning we're giving to our thoughts (that are always on the inside) creates the feeling / experience we have (also always on the inside.)
To some, when they hear this it sounds like "reframing". Reframing is a great strategy or technique to help us shift a stressful experience to something more positive. But taking on an inside-out perspective of life is a paradigm shift that brings more peace and stability to all areas of our lives rather than just a way to deal with stress when it arises.
To me, reframing something is more like using my mind to change my mind, which can be very helpful. But I still get triggered by my thinking and then resort to reframing.
When we begin to see that our experience of life comes from the meaning we're giving to our thinking, we see life through that paradigm. It's like seeing life through a different lens that naturally eliminates the stress of seeing the situation inaccurately, i.e., outside-in, that then needs reframing.
So, if I'm feeling stressed about something, instead of thinking about how to see the situation differently and reframing it, I pause and consider how am I seeing it as outside-i.? With that, my mind opens, letting go of the meaning I was adding, and my experience changes.
This is what I think Rumi is pointing to in the poem I often refer to, "Beyond ideas of rightdoing and wrongdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there." To me, the ideas of rightdoing and wrongdoing he's referring to are the meaning I give to a situation. This is right or this is wrong, and that creates the feeling in me. When I open to see what might be beyond this thinking I label as right or wrong, I find myself in that field, and there is no stress there.
Having worked with hundreds of clients now to see this, when they understand this aspect of their thinking, it makes the difference between having a happy well-adjusted life and a life of struggle. It's certainly been our experience.
The recipe this week is Banana Pancakes. We rarely do a recipe with flour as one of the main ingredients, but we had 4 overripe bananas and I just thought, would it work to add flour and fry them up like pancakes? It definitely worked. They took us right back to the old comfort zone pancakes we had as kids, only with these pancakes half of the ingredients are whole bananas that replace the milk, eggs, butter and salt. Delicious and healthy.
To your Amazing Health,
Connie and Bill
Banana Pancakes (makes 8 – 4” pancakes, ½” thick)
- 4 ripe bananas
- 2 cups flour
- ½ teaspoon cinnamon
- 1 tablespoon baking powder
- ¼ cup sunflower seeds (optional)
- ¼ cup unsweetened coconut (optional)
- 1 cup blueberries (or other fruit of your choice) (optional)
Add bananas to food processor and blend until smooth.
Add flour, cinnamon, and baking powder and mix in well.
Pulse in seeds, coconut and fruit if using them.
Drop ¼ cup dollops of batter into a non-stick fry pan and cook for 2-3 minutes on each side.
Top with fresh fruit or fruit compote (recipe below)
Fruit Compote
- 3½ cups fresh or frozen fruit of your choice
- 1 tablespoon arrowroot
- 2 tablespoons filtered water
Add fruit to a small pan and add the arrowroot and water. Stir the fruit around to coat the fruit with the arrow root.
Bring to boil and turn down to simmer, stirring frequently to prevent sticking to the bottom. Simmer until fruit is soft to your liking.