For years we looked for ways to help people unwind the mental and emotional connections we have with food. The connections we have that keep us reaching for food for reward or relief when we aren't hungry .
We shared all the techniques and strategies we could find (and had tried ourselves) from reframing to meditation, to affirmations and more. But none of them seemed to stick with people. Nobody really stayed with the techniques for them to make a lasting change in their relationship with food and their food habits.
Then in 2019 we came across an understanding that really helped and people are finding lasting change with. The difference we see between it and the techniques and strategies we tried is that this understanding lays a foundation for a paradigm shift rather than a way to modify the behaviour. Rather than working to "retrain the brain", this understanding provides a point of view that we see life through.
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Techniques and strategies are ways we can change our experience in a situation. But what if we could change the way we see a situation in the first place? Could that help us avoid falling into the old habits of eating late at night or when we're feeling upset about something?
What if we saw life through a different lens, a new paradigm, so that what we saw looked different?
When I shift from a paradigm like the earth is flat to one that knows the earth is round, when I approach what I once thought the edge of the earth was close to and got scared, I no longer find fear arising. It doesn't make sense from the new paradigm. There's nothing to be afraid of when seen through the new paradigm where there's no edge to the earth.
With a paradigm shift, the circumstance doesn't need to change for my experience to change completely. I can be walking in the same place that used to produce great fear from the old paradigm of a flat earth and feel no fear at all. I don't need a technique or strategy to calm me because the source of the fear, that there's an edge to the earth I can fall off of, no longer exists in the new way I'm seeing life.
It's like how Connie's habit to eat potato chips when she felt uneasy about something changed. The potato chips were her "technique" to relax based on an old experience from childhood that was no longer true. It's like she saw the earth was round and not flat like the old belief from childhood was grounded in. With that, what used to trigger the uneasiness and desire for potato chips no longer triggered her. Hence, no more desire for potato chips.
In a nutshell, the paradigm that we share is that our experience in life is created from the inside-out. That was not obvious to us until we came across this understanding. It had always looked like what we experienced was outside-in. If someone cut me off in traffic and I felt angry, I thought that being cut off made me mad. Do you see how that's outside-in? I believed that what happened (outside of me) is what created my experience of anger (inside of me). That's outside-in.
When it was suggested that life works inside-out and we started to explore that for ourselves, we could see that, sure enough, it was what we were thinking ABOUT the situation that was creating the feelings we had. How else could I explain that I didn't always get angry when cut off? It had to be the different frame of mind I was in (on the inside) that created the different experience.
Test it for yourself and let us know what you find.
What we love about living from this new paradigm is that we're no longer believing that our happiness or security lies in what's happening in our lives or what others think. All of those things outside of us are out of our control. But if I think my happiness is created by them, by what's happening in my life, I put a lot of time and energy into trying to control those circumstances and how other people think and act. Whew, that's a lot of work. And it never really works.
If you have questions about this understanding and would like to know more, let us know in the comments below. We offer a free 30-minute consultation, no strings attached, to experience this understanding.
The recipe this week is a Brown Rice Tahini Veg Casserole. We love its rich, creamy hardiness.
To your Amazing Health,
Connie and Bill
Brown Rice Tahini Veg Casserole (Serves 4) From Molly Patrick
- 4 cups cooked brown rice
- 3 cups raw broccoli, chopped
- 1 cup tomatoes, chopped
- 1 cup raw carrot, finely diced
- ¼ cup nutritional yeast
- 1 cup unsweetened non-dairy milk
- 2 tablespoons tahini
- 1 teaspoon paprika or smoked paprika
- 1 teaspoon onion powder or granules
- 1 teaspoon Sumac (optional)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
In a large mixing bowl add cooked rice, broccoli, tomatoes, carrots and nutritional yeast. Stir until everything is well mixed.
In a smaller separate bowl, add the non-dairy milk, tahini, paprika, onion powder and Sumac. Whisk until everything is combined.
Add this liquid to the rice and stir.
Add rice mixture to an 8” x 8” baking pan, cover and bake for 25 minutes.
After 25 minutes, remove cover, turn heat to 400 degrees and bake an additional 10 minutes.