A Coaching Session

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Connie and I have been certified Life Coaches for 4 years now and we love it. Combined, we've done well over 1000 sessions. I guess that says something for how much we like it. And to think that when I first heard the term "Life Coach" I couldn't for the life of me figure out what that meant. What in the world does a life coach would do?

Well, now we know. To us, life coaching has parallels to sports coaching. A tennis coach or a basketball coach, for example, can help a player improve their game because the coach has a perspective the player doesn't. If the coach understands the game well, he can watch the player and see where to make suggestions to change and fine tune what he does to be able to perform even better. A slight change of a grip, or a follow through can make a real difference in the outcome of a swing.

The fine tuning that we do as Life Coaches is to help people "adjust their grip on life." By exploring together a situation that is creating difficulty of discomfort for them, we often see ways to help them get a new perspective on what's occurring that reduces stress and brings more ease into their lives.

We recently did a session with a client and we recorded it. She's given us permission to share it here so you can see what it looks like. It's about 30 minutes long, but the change that she comes to at the end significantly shifted decades of living out of old negative patterns that had recently shown up again in her life. She mentioned to us the following day that it was interesting to her how something she felt so afraid of before felt so beneficial for her now.

We've shared the idea of "welcoming what's arising" before in our blog, and this is what a coaching session around that idea looks like. Instead of resisting the feeling because it feels bad, we explore what it really is, without the story we have about it. By feeling the feeling free of any thoughts we have about it, it often becomes a very different experience.

What we've learned from this is that it isn't the emotion or the energy of the feeling that feels so bad. It's the resistance to feeling it. Not wanting to feel that feeling any more. Wanting it to go away. And when it doesn't, we look for something to help it, like reaching for an old comfort food, going shopping, or binge watching a new series on Netflix. Sound familiar?

When we want to push a feeling away, it's like trying to hold a beach ball under water. It's the nature of a beach ball to float so holding it under water takes constant energy and effort. Our feelings and emotions want to flow on through us, and to resist that is to fight against the nature of our feelings. What if our feelings are meant to flow on through us just like a beach ball is meant to float?

So, for Wendi, "changing her grip" on her experience of sadness with the loss of her mother was to allow herself to feel the feeling, just for what it is, without all the stories that her mind brought up about her past, her own mothering and was she enough? When she was able to let go of the stories that created the feelings she wanted to resist, the energy flowed on through and she was free of the heavy, sad nature that had gripped her for several months.

If you have any situations in your life that you would like to see change, we offer a complimentary hour to exploring how you might find a way to "change your grip." It isn't always about welcoming the feelings, but it's always about perceiving what's occurring in your life from a new perspective. Just send us a note in the comments section below and we'll connect with you.

The recipe this week is a simple one, Thai Peanut Sauce. We often have it over baked sweet potatoes and yams along with a big salad. And there's always some left that we use the next day on our veggies or steamed greens. Give it a try and let us know what you think.

To your Amazing Health,
Bill and Connie

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Thai Peanut Sauce (adapted from Mary McDougall)

  • ¾ cup rice vinegar
  • 2 tablespoons low sodium tamari
  • 2 tablespoons coconut aminos
  • 2 tablespoons chili paste
  • ¾ cup peanut butter
  • ¼ cup warm water
  • ½ cup cilantro leaves (optional)

Place all ingredients in a high-speed blender and blend until smooth (approximately 30 seconds).

The sauce is great on baked sweet potato, potatoes, yams, cooked vegetables, or salads.

Note: Use this sauce with care as it is higher in whole food fat from the peanut butter than is usual in our recipes.