When we get triggered by someone, it's often because we each see the situation differently and feel uncomfortable, or even threatened, by the other's point of view.
We talked about this in the blog on Separate Realities. And now we want to talk about how these difficult situations can actually lead to greater closeness and intimacy through In-Depth Conversations.
Join us to hear more.
When we realize that the distance that seems to come between us when we're triggered can be an invitation to become even closer and know each other more deeply, the dynamics of the relationship can change significantly.
One way to do this is through in-depth conversations. Instead of defending our point of view, getting curious and learning how it is that the other person's point of view makes sense to them, can provide us with a new understanding that takes us out of being defensive.
And Connie and I have done this with food. At first I didn't like kale at all. But I was willing to give it a try because it promised to relieve my pain. And not only did I get the the pain relief, but it is now one of my favourite foods. That's a real win-win. And it came about because I was willing to look beyond my point of view that kale tastes terrible.
The idea of using in-depth conversations as a way to bridge differences reminds me of the Rumi poem:
"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field.
I’ll meet you there."
When we get curious about the other person's point of view, we let go of our way of seeing it as being right and theirs wrong. It takes us to that field where we can see and learn something new. And in that field, without the right and wrong attached to the situation, we naturally feel close.
For us, whenever we have an in-depth conversation that arises from some tension in our seeing things differently, it almost always brings us back to feeling close. And with the new information, it often broadens and deepens the richness of our relationship as well.
The recipe this week is Winter Squash as a Main Dish. It's amazing how satisfying winter squash can be as a main dish. And with so many delicious varieties available this time of year, we're never at a loss for a great tasting meal.
To your Amazing Health,
Connie and Bill
Winter Squash as a Main Dish (Serves 2)
- 1 medium Winter squash—Kabocha, Butternut, Kuri, etc.
- Aioli sauce (recipe below)
Seed the squash and cut in 2-inch slices
Bake at 375º for 45 minutes or until tender.
Arrange on dinner plate in slices and top with Aioli sauce.
Add cooked or raw veggies and steamed greens along with the squash for the whole meal. The greens will also taste great with the Aioli sauce.
Aioli Sauce
- ¾ cup sunflower seeds
- ¾ cup cashews
- 1 cup filtered water
- 1 lemon or lime juiced
- ¼ cup balsamic vinegar
- 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
- 1 tablespoon tamari or soy sauce
- ¼ cup nutritional yeast
- ½ teaspoon ground black pepper
Blend the above in a blender until smooth and creamy. Add more water 1 tablespoon at a time if it’s too thick. Or add more nutritional yeast 1 tablespoon at a time if it’s too thin.