Listening, that is, hearing what another person is saying to us, is essential for good communication and a healthy relationship. But so often, we can find ourselves thinking about what they are saying and what we will say to them, rather than really listening to what they're saying and where they're coming from.

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Years ago, when we were "working on our relationship", we read lots of books and took a lot of seminars. One common topic was a model of "active listening" to improve communication and reduce tensions. And we found some real value in it.

We would focus on what the other was saying and use our body language to be positive and encourage their sharing. And we'd speak back what we heard, ask questions and reflect back our sense of their feelings without interrupting them. I mean, how could that not help?

Well, it did help, but it had its limits. It never really brought is to a place of feeling closer and more trusting of the other. But it did improve our communication.

As we look back on it today, we see we were applying all this as a technique. We were remembering what to do, what to say, and how to say it in order to have a productive conversation. And that way of applying it had us up in our heads trying to get it right to improve the conversation and our relationship. Well intentioned, but limited success.

With this new understanding that we share, we've seen it is much simpler than that. Rather than trying to remember what to do to create a productive and meaningful connection, we now just drop into our hearts, meaning we let go of the mental thinking ABOUT what they're saying and what we're going to say, and listen for where they are coming from.

With this, we become truly present and focused on what communicating really is about: connection. Rather than trying to remember what to do to create a deep connection, we drop out of our heads into our hearts and we naturally are connected. We find ourselves BEING connected rather than trying to "do" connection.

This dropping out of our heads into our hearts is as simple as listening to where the other person is coming from. Listening for where their heart is and then speaking to that instead of addressing the content of what's being said. Speaking to what connects us from what connects us, rather than the focus being about clarifying our points of view. This is what we mean by Deep Listening. Listening from deep within us to deep within them.

That doesn't mean we don't address what the conversation is about. But think about it. Taking care of what needs to be taken care of is so much easier when we feel like we are being heard and connected on the heart level. The conversation is very clear and productive from there and working out what benefits both of us is much easier to find.

So, what does this have to do with food? Well, it turns out that we all have a relationship with food just like we have a relationship with people. And in that relationship, we often have conversations with ourselves about what to eat.

Sometimes in that conversation, I'm present and listening to the wisdom and intelligence of my body. And sometimes I'm listening to the "this is what I want and this is what I'm going to have" voice. (AKA a craving).

Give it a try. Whether it's a conversation with family, friends, co-workers or yourself, the more we listen for the deeper heart value that connects us, the better the conversation goes and the closer we feel with each other. And more often than not, we make really good food choices from there.

The recipe this week is a Taco Pasta. That may seem like a strange fusion of cuisines, Mexican and Italian, but trust us, this is a great tasting dish. Served with a creamy Mexican sauce or a simple tomato sauce, the blend of tastes and textures is sure to please your palette.

And like we mentioned in the video, we'd love to hear what you want to hear about. Leave us a comment below and we'll add it to our upcoming blogs.

To your Amazing Health,

Connie and Bill

Taco Pasta (serves 4) adapted from Well Your World

• 8 ounce box pasta (we love the Chickpea rigatoni pasta)
• small onion, diced
• 3 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 colored bell pepper, diced
• 1 jalapeño, seeded and diced
• 2 cups cherry tomato, cut in pieces
• 1 zucchini, diced in small cubes
• 3 cups frozen corn
• 1 bunch green onions, sliced on diagonal
• 15 ounce can black beans, drained
• ½ bunch cilantro, leaves chopped, stems removed

Tomato Sauce:

• 3 tablespoons tomato paste
• 1½ cups salsa

or Cashew Mexican Sauce:

• ¾ cup raw cashews
• 1 cup water
• 3 garlic cloves
• ¼ cup nutritional yeast
• 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
• 2 teaspoons regular or smoked paprika
• 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
• 1 lime juiced
• 2 teaspoon ground cumin
• 2 teaspoons dried oregano
• 1 teaspoon chili powder

Prepare pasta according to package directions, drain and set aside.

In a large pan, sauté onion and garlic until soft with 3 tablespoons filtered water.

Now add colored pepper, jalapeño and tomatoes, Cook until becoming soft.

Add corn, beans, cilantro and green onions and stir well. Cook until almost soft.

Add cooked pasta.

Add Tomato Sauce or Cashew Mexican Sauce, or some of both. Stir well and serve.